Italian weddings: Traditions, differences and key features

Italian Wedding – the dream of many newlyweds, because Italy, with its lush nature, breathtaking landscapes, and rich cultural and historical attractions, is simply made for love and a beautiful, unforgettable beginning of life together. Romantic Venice, sunny Sicily, monumental Rome or the luxury of Lake Como – the choices are truly endless. It is in Italy that brides can fulfill their childhood dreams of a wedding in a fairytale medieval castle, on a villa terrace with a magnificent view of the azure waters of the Mediterranean, or on the green lawn of a baroque palazzo.

If your dreams are about to come true and a wedding in Italy is just around the corner, then our article will help you prepare for this event, address every possible nuance, and provide useful practical information for guests invited to an Italian wedding who are unfamiliar with local customs.

 

Article Contents:

1. 1. Modern Italian Wedding – What Is It Like?
2. Pre-Wedding Preparations
3. Sending Invitations
4. Choosing a Wedding Date in Italy
5. Bachelorette and Bachelor Parties in Italy
6. Number of Guests
7. What to Give at an Italian Wedding
8. Wedding Attire
9. Wedding Superstitions and Omens
10. Religious and Civil Ceremonies
11. Where the Wedding Reception Takes Place
12. Wedding Menu
13. Wedding Toasts
14. Entertainment Program
15. Honeymoon in Italy

The article features photographs of our wonderful couples. You can view the weddings we have organized in Italy in our portfolio.

 

1. Modern Italian Wedding – What Is It Like?

A modern Italian wedding does not require strict adherence to the age-old customs, although in Italy—a Catholic and patriarchal country—greater importance is placed on maintaining established order and traditions. Many of these traditions may already be familiar to you—as globalization gradually erases differences between countries and peoples, wedding rituals originally set in Ancient Rome are becoming increasingly uniform.

As with other modern cultures, Italians traditionally marry in white, hold bachelor and bachelorette parties, organize photoshoots for the newlyweds, cut the wedding cake, and toss the bouquet at the end of the reception. Despite these similarities, an Italian wedding has its own unique features and differences; knowing them will help the future couple fully incorporate the color and customs of the country into their celebrations and make guests, unfamiliar with local traditions, feel comfortable.

Italian wedding traditions vary from region to region, though not as dramatically as in the 19th century during times of political and cultural fragmentation. In our article, we will focus mainly on the traditions of Southern Italy, using the island of Sicily as an example—after all, it is this truly paradisiacal corner that many couples choose for their wedding ceremony in Italy.

 

2. Pre-Wedding Preparations

For Italians, and especially Sicilians, a wedding is arguably the most important event in life. It is no coincidence that the wedding serves as the starting point in Mario Puzo’s The Godfather. On the wedding day of Constance’s daughter, Don Vito Corleone greets numerous guests at the threshold of his mansion, while in the corridors he receives supplicants who come to the “Godfather” seeking protection and fair judgment.

In Italy, it is customary to prepare for a wedding well in advance – a year or even two ahead, since organizing a grand celebration at the highest level involves serious and meticulous planning. A classic Italian wedding demands that everything be done properly. A quick Las Vegas–style ceremony, where one might marry on the very day the idea of marriage first occurs, without witnesses and numerous guests, would neither be understood nor accepted here.

A long period of courtship precedes the wedding. In some cases, this period can even be excessively long – in Italy, divorce is neither simple nor swift, so many couples delay marriage as long as possible, often tying the knot only after the age of 30, which in turn is seen as a guarantee of strong relationships and genuine love.

The first step towards a life together is a marriage proposal, usually made in a romantic setting. The man confirms the seriousness of his intentions by presenting the lady with an engagement ring. The first option is a ring with a single large diamond – a symbol of unique, one-of-a-kind love. Another popular option is a veretta ring with small diamonds arranged in a circle, symbolizing the eternity of love. The promise is sealed with a kiss, and once the lady accepts her suitor’s proposal, the couple is considered engaged.

The tradition of engagement dates back to Ancient Rome, when a preliminary marriage agreement was considered a legal procedure accompanied by the exchange of rings, after which only death could dissolve the marriage contract. In those times, the decision to marry was made not by the woman herself, but by her father or guardian based on political or financial considerations, aimed at expanding and strengthening the family’s influence. Of course, in the modern world such restrictions no longer exist, and marriages are most often based on mutual consent and love without direct parental intervention.

After the engagement, the couple announces the upcoming wedding at a special engagement party, to which relatives and friends are invited. It is customary for the parents of the future spouses to meet each other before the wedding. Typically, this occurs at a family lunch or dinner where one side invites the other.

 

3. Sending Invitations

According to etiquette, invitations must be sent to all guests several months before the wedding date—not by email, but the old-fashioned way, by postal mail in an envelope with stamps. The invitations, whose design may be specially created for a specific wedding, include the names of the newlyweds, the date and venue, and the preferred dress code if the wedding is themed. Interestingly, the ceremony’s start time is set one hour earlier to ensure that none of the guests are late.

Upon receiving the invitation, guests are expected to reply as soon as possible to indicate whether they will attend, as this information is vital for planning the celebration and organizing the reception.

 

4. Choosing a Wedding Date in Italy

Italians place great importance on choosing the wedding date. The least desirable dates in this Catholic country are those that fall during Advent (the period preceding Christmas), Lent before Easter, and the month of May (just as in our culture: if you marry in May, you will be troubled for the rest of your life).

Tuesday, whose patron and ruling planet is Mars, is considered an unlucky day for a wedding ceremony – if a couple marries on Tuesday, they are likely to quarrel and fight frequently. Of all the days of the week, Sunday is regarded as the best, when all the saints bestow their blessings on the newlyweds.

Although Italians marry year-round, the main wedding season lasts from mid-April (after Easter) to the end of October. When choosing a month for a wedding in Italy, it is advisable to avoid August, especially dates starting from August 15, when Italians celebrate Ferragosto (the Assumption of Mary) and head off on vacation en masse—resulting in crowded hotels, heavy traffic, and prices surging by 20–50%. If you wish to save money, it is better to consider the less popular months, as many hotels and restaurants offer good discounts during the off-season.

5. Bachelorette and Bachelor Parties in Italy

An important part of the pre-wedding period is the parties for the soon-to-be newlyweds, during which they bid farewell to their carefree single life. In Italy, bachelorette and bachelor parties are organized in such a way that friends take the bride or groom to a predetermined location and arrange a surprise; for the groom, this may be a truly wild bachelor party in the spirit of the film “The Hangover,” while for the bride, a more modest yet fun dinner with her friends is usually arranged.

In both cases, as the English say, there is a touch of bittersweet—a “bittersweet joy” arising from the knowledge that life will soon change forever.

 

6. Number of Guests

“The vast garden already accommodated several hundred people: some danced on a wooden stage strewn with flowers, while others sat at the longest tables laden with every kind of food—spicy and aromatic in a southern style—and jugs of dark homemade wine. The bride, Connie Corleone, in all her wedding splendor, was seated at a special table on a separate dais along with the groom, her bridesmaid, and the groomsmen. They presented a picturesque scene in the old Italian style. Although the groom did not particularly like it, Connie agreed to conduct the wedding in the traditional Italian manner to please her father, whom she had already disappointed by her choice of husband.”

Mario Puzo, “The Godfather”

Although the trend in modern weddings is to celebrate in an intimate circle of close friends and relatives, in Italy a “warm and intimate” wedding of 25 people is not considered a true celebration. Given the size and closeness of Italian families, especially in Southern Italy, a wedding with up to 100 guests is considered quite modest by Italian standards. A wedding of 200–250 guests is viewed as a good average, allowing room for distant relatives, work colleagues, and less close friends.

Since an Italian wedding is essentially a public declaration that the couple has officially decided to be “in sorrow and in joy, for as long as they shall live,” Italians believe that the more witnesses to this momentous event, the better.

 

7. What to Give at an Italian Wedding

An important question for all those invited to an Italian wedding is what and when it is customary to give to the future spouses. Modern Italians prefer to give money or items chosen from a special list provided by the couple. A common practice has become the gift of a honeymoon – guests transfer money in advance to a travel agency that organizes the trip.

The main difference from Russia is that gifts, whether money or items, can be given BEFORE the wedding itself. For example, in Sicily a special party – the ricevimento – is organized a month or two before the celebration, during which the gifts are presented. Of course, guests from Russia and other countries may also give gifts on the wedding day itself, for instance during the welcome aperitif before the reception when the newlyweds mingle freely with their guests.

It is important to note that it is not customary to give flowers at an Italian wedding. Traditionally, the groom selects and purchases the bouquet for the bride and brings it to her home before the celebration. For the female relatives (mother-in-law, stepmother, sisters-in-law) and the bride’s friends, bouquets are purchased separately, while the other guests are expected to attend without flowers.

It is also remarkable that an Italian wedding is not only about gifts for the couple, but also for the guests! At the end of the wedding reception, each guest is given bomboniere (bomboniere) – small keepsakes commemorating the event. The style of the bomboniere depends on the creativity of the bride and groom and the wedding theme; regardless of the design, the gift set for guests always includes Jordan almonds, or Italian confetti – almonds coated in a chocolate glaze, wrapped in bright packaging or netted bags.

The color of the glaze may vary, but the number of confetti pieces is always odd (preferably 5 or 7), symbolizing luck and best wishes for the bride and groom – happiness, health, wealth, longevity, and the continuation of the family.

 

At the wedding of Marina and Ludovico, which the author had the honor of attending as a guest, the bomboniere were themed and reflected the cultural backgrounds of the bride and groom. Guests from Italy received a matryoshka containing a bottle of Russia’s national drink – vodka – while guests from Russia received a traditional Sicilian bridal carriage with a bottle of limoncello. And, of course, all guests also received 5 pieces of chocolate-glazed almonds along with their souvenirs.

 

8. Wedding Attire

As in many other countries, it is considered bad luck in Italy for the groom to see the bride’s dress before the wedding; therefore, the bride chooses her wedding attire on her own, assisted by her older relatives and friends.

For a church ceremony, a classic floor-length white dress with a long train is preferred—one that flows beautifully along the aisle as the bride walks to the altar. A corset with a deep neckline and an overly bare back is not acceptable in church, so if you desire a more daring dress, it is better saved for the civil ceremony or a celebration at a restaurant. For a municipal registration, a knee-length dress with a sun skirt is appropriate. The color can vary in all shades of white—from vanilla and powder to champagne.

The tradition of complementing the wedding look with a veil dates back to Ancient Rome, when the veil resembled a covering that not only concealed the bride’s face but also enveloped her from head to toe. In Southern Italy, it is customary for the veil to be as long as the couple’s love for each other—the longer, the better. Moreover, such a veil looks exceptionally striking.

It is preferable that the groom wears a classic suit with a tie or bow tie. The dress code for guests is specified in advance in the invitations, especially if the couple wishes to adhere to a certain style and color palette. Guests are expected to dress appropriately for the occasion – formally, but not so extravagantly as to outshine the true stars of the celebration. Total black attire and exposed shoulders during a church ceremony are prohibited.

 

9. Wedding Superstitions and Omens

Italians are a very superstitious people, especially when it comes to weddings. There are many omens believed to determine the future life of the couple. On the eve of the wedding, the Italian bride will invariably wear something green, as it is said to promise abundance and fertility for the upcoming marriage. There is also another well-known tradition—the bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and something received as a gift; however, this tradition originated in England and is not uniquely Italian.

On the wedding day, the bride will never wear gold, except for her wedding ring, and a small piece of iron will be hidden in the groom’s pocket to ward off evil spirits and protect against the evil eye. As the couple exits the church, guests throw rose petals (which is usually not allowed inside the church), paper confetti, and handfuls of rice—washed so as not to stain the groom’s suit. A veritable shower of petals, confetti, and rice rains down on the newlyweds, promising abundance and prosperity in their future married life.

At the end of the celebration, the couple must break a vase or a glass and count the number of shards, which symbolize the number of years they will be happily married.

There are many omens and superstitions, and although not all are taken into account before or during an Italian wedding, if you are getting married in Italy, it might be wise to heed a couple of them—just in case and for good luck.

 

10. Religious and Civil Ceremonies

In Italy, there is no concept of a bride price (which is not universally included in the wedding program even in Russia), and the celebration begins immediately with the wedding ceremony. Unlike many other countries, over 75% of marriages in Italy are performed in a church, and the religious ceremony is officially equivalent to a civil registration. Of course, couples may also marry at the local municipality (which is often housed in very beautiful historic buildings), where the ceremony is usually conducted by the mayor or a registrar.

However, in Italy—a country with very strong religious traditions—it is customary for the couple to officially wed and exchange marriage vows in a church, before the eyes of both people and God. This is especially true in the more patriarchal South of Italy.

The order of a church ceremony in Italy is roughly as follows. The groom arrives at the church 20–30 minutes before the ceremony begins and patiently waits for the bride, as do the many guests, who are instructed to take their seats immediately rather than waiting outside. In the church, the right side is reserved for the groom’s friends and relatives, and the left side for the bride’s. The front rows are designated for the parents and close relatives. In Sicily, it is not uncommon for the entire village or a large part of the town to attend the church ceremony, as a wedding is considered a celebration for everyone.

 

The bride typically arrives at the church with a slight delay – her imminent arrival is announced by the church bells. As has been customary since the Middle Ages, she may arrive very romantically and extravagantly – on horseback or in a carriage, though most often by car. Tradition dictates that, to the sounds of Mendelssohn’s march, the father leads the bride to the altar, preceded by a boy and a girl (children of relatives or close friends) carrying a cushion with rings and flowers. Upon reaching the altar, the father lifts the veil and forever entrusts his daughter to her future husband.

Once everyone is gathered, the ceremony begins and lasts about an hour. The priest offers guidance to the couple and asks them to recite the traditional wedding vows, which are well known: “I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, in wealth and in poverty, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, until death do us part.” In this touching and emotional moment, it is very difficult not to shed tears…

Interestingly, witnesses are very important in Italy, and during the official part in the church or municipality, they are indeed asked to formally witness the marriage, whereas in Russia the role of witnesses is purely nominal and has no bearing on the ceremony.

After the ceremony, in some villages—especially in Southern Italy—it is customary for the newlyweds, accompanied by relatives and other guests, to proceed in a celebratory procession through the streets, receiving congratulations and handshakes. Most modern couples then head off for a photoshoot, while guests freshen up and make their own way to the restaurant at the designated time.

 

11. Where the Wedding Reception Takes Place

A large-scale wedding reception in Italy can be hosted in a luxurious palazzo with several halls accommodating hundreds of people, in a medieval castle straight out of a Disney fairy tale, at a chic villa with open terraces, or even on a yacht slicing through the blue waters of one of the seas that lap Italy’s shores.

Some opt to host the wedding banquet at home: all guests are invited to the church ceremony, while only a select circle of relatives and close friends attend the reception. However, such a home format is rather the exception— in Italy, it is customary to treat guests to a delicious lunch or dinner at a fine restaurant after the wedding. Typically, the couple decides in advance how to seat the guests to avoid confusion (ensuring that, for example, grandpa Giuseppe is not seated next to the bride’s young friends), and table cards with guest names are placed at each table.

 

12. Wedding Menu

Italians are the biggest food lovers in the world, and the success of a wedding largely depends on the reception—the abundance and variety of dishes served. A wedding banquet in Italy can include as many as 10–15 courses, so non-Italian guests should be prepared for a feast of delicious, calorie-rich food.

There are two types of festive receptions – a wedding lunch (lasting from around 1:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.) and a wedding dinner (from 6:00 p.m. to midnight). Prior to the banquet, guests awaiting the arrival of the newlyweds (who are typically occupied with a photoshoot) are served an aperitif to whet their appetite along with light appetizers. Initially, antipasti (from anti – “before” and pasto – “meal”) are served—appetizers made of vegetables, cheese, meat, or seafood, which may also include arancini balls, mini pizzas, or bruschetta.

The first course (primo piatto) at an Italian wedding is traditionally not a salad, as might be common elsewhere, but pasta, which Italians adore and eat every day—even on their wedding day. The pasta may be prepared according to the season and the locale (seafood pasta in Sicily, carbonara in Rome, truffle pasta in Tuscany, etc.). Other primo piatto dishes served at an Italian wedding include risotto, lasagna, ravioli, and tortellini (Italian dumplings made from unleavened dough).

Main courses (secondo piatto) include a generous cut of meat or fish served with a side dish (contorno) of grilled vegetables or potatoes. To finish, a sorbet (sorbetto) is served, sometimes mixed with liqueur or prosecco. The wedding cake (torta nuziale)—as is customary in many other parts of the world—is cut by the couple at the end of the evening: the first slices are reserved for the newlyweds, the second for the mother-in-law, the third for the mother, followed by the father-in-law and father, and then the remaining slices are distributed to the other guests.

Of course, no wedding feast is complete without Bacchus and his gifts. While strong alcoholic beverages are almost a given at Russian weddings, in Italy lighter drinks are preferred: Prosecco (a champagne analogue), wine, and liqueur, which is usually served at the end of the banquet along with dolce – sweets (in Sicily, these might be cannoli – waffle tubes with a sweet filling) and a piece of wedding cake.

“A teetotaler at a wedding is a spy!” is a saying in our culture, and a wedding is considered a failure if no one gets truly festive and wild, as depicted in the film “Gorko!”. In Italy, overindulgence is rare; champagne is not guzzled from the bride’s shoe, nor are shots rapidly downed—instead, the wedding resembles a formal dinner more than a boisterous celebration.

 

13. Wedding Toasts

In Russia and other former USSR countries, toasts are an indispensable part of the reception, almost regarded as an art form. During the initial toasts, when the toastmaster invites each guest to speak in turn, gifts (money, items, etc.) are often presented to the newlyweds along with congratulations and best wishes.

In Italy, gifts are given in advance, there is rarely a toastmaster at wedding receptions, and lengthy, flowery toasts or parables are not customary (imagine if all 200–300 guests began to congratulate the couple—the celebration would hardly end until the next morning).

If you are invited to an Italian wedding, I recommend learning just one short word – “auguri” (auguri), which roughly translates as “with best wishes!” It is precisely “auguri!” that guests shout to the couple after the ceremony, congratulating them on their union. During the reception, Italians do not chant lengthy toasts like “Gorko!”; at most, they might say “un bacio per la sposa” (a kiss for the bride). A kiss that is too long in front of numerous elder relatives would be considered rather inappropriate.

However, Italian weddings are not entirely without toasts. Throughout the evening, the newlyweds may approach guests to receive personal congratulations and “auguri.” At the end of the celebration, the couple raises a final glass and expresses their thanks to family and friends.

 

14. Entertainment Program

When one thinks of a “wedding in Italy” (considering the temperament and passion of Italians), images of cheerful, laughing young men and women dancing wildly, performing the tarantella to the accompaniment of guitar and tambourine, come to mind. I was quite surprised to learn, however, that at an Italian wedding the banquet is the main event, while entertainment such as contests, auctions, live music, and dancing is more the exception than the rule.

It is wonderful that the wedding of Marina and Ludovico incorporated traditions from both Russian and Italian weddings. Throughout the evening, live music played—the specially invited jazz band performed popular Italian melodies, while a Russian folk dance duo set the dance floor on fire, and tasteful, unobtrusive contests entertained the guests. Considering that the professions of the bride and groom are related to creativity in photography, video, and advertising, the banquet was adorned with creative video montages in the style of “The Great Gatsby,” as well as a hit music video for the beloved song “Felicita,” created with the participation of guests from various cities and countries.

 

15. Honeymoon in Italy

What happens after the wedding? Most couples enjoy spending time alone together – a “honeymoon.” This tradition and term date back to Ancient Rome, when newlyweds spent one lunar cycle (29–30 days) after the wedding, consuming a portion of honey with every meal so that their future married life would be sweet and prosperous.

The best part is that, after celebrating your wedding in Italy, you can, without leaving the country, venture into any of its stunning and unique corners and spend that time together in tenderness, love, and romance.

 

 

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